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The Husband’s And Wife’s Rights And Relationship To One Another
What are the duties of the husband, wife, parents, and children?
How important are love and commitment in marriage?
For what cause may spouses divorce and remarry?
Who should exercise authority as head in the home?
Who should provide family income and who should care for the home? How diligent should parents be in teaching and training the children? God's word gives inspired instruction to guide us to happy homes.
There are just too many voices in our society today for one to focus and remain quiet in out heart and mind. We are being overwhelmed by subliminal thoughts of how things "should be." How the proper wife or husband should look; what kind of car we should be driving; what our house should look like; it goes on and on from there.
Unfortunately for most of us who have been married for a while we have already developed an opinion about our spouse. Short of a miracle or the chance of a "get-away retreat" we are in trouble.
That's why "the family that prays together; stays together" is not just an attempt of some church to keep it member in attendence.
As the parents are the final word with siblings so spouses must acknowledge a higher authority over them. They MUST be willing to run to the "Heavenly Father" when an argument gets out of hand; when feellings get hurt. We learn to knell "Together" (not separately).
We have to be willing to be obedient to Him. To repent, say we are sorry - sincerely - and kiss and make up.
If you need help doing that contact a minister you can trust - there is usually not charge adding financial pressure - if you cannot find one, contact us.
We will attempt to provide some basic principles here that you need to meditate on and discuss one with the other; and with the Father. We choose to start with husband first in that it is our belief that in God's order He placed Adam as the provider and gave him the role of leadership.
The Husband to His Wife
The Husband Should Be Committed to Marriage - for Life. There are numbers showing over 50 per cent of all marriages now end in divorce. If that is even allowed to be a part of a married couples thinking they have already compromised their future.
Consider Romans 7:2,3 -- Husband and wife are bound as long as they both live. To divorce and remarry is to commit adultery One may remarry only when his spouse has died. In Mal. 2:14-16 God says He hates the putting away of one’s spouse; and in Matthew 19:3-9 Fornication is the only Scriptural grounds for divorce.
This is adultery because he is still bound to his first wife, yet having the sexual union with another woman. Matt. 5:31-32 & 1 Cor. 7
The Husband Should Love His Wife. Not act selfishly or abuse The Bible teaches (Ephesians 5:25-31,33) that a man should love his wife as Christ loved the church and as he loves his own body.
What can Jesus' love for the church teach husbands? Jesus' love was not a romantic mood or emotion but a choice or commitment. Jesus did what we needed even when our conduct was unattractive. This required serious sacrifice for our good. Likewise a husband should be committed to do his wife good, even if she is not acting lovingly toward him nor attracting him romantically. He must do good even at the cost of serious personal sacrifice. 1 Peter 3:7 A man should try to understand what his wife needs, rather than being bitter toward her Col. 3:19.
He will not expect her to do heavy work since she is not as strong. And he will respect her as being of equal spiritual value with himself.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 A husband also shows love by expressing affection and fulfilling the wife's sexual needs. Jesus expressed loved for the church both by words and by deeds. If a husband properly loves his wife, he will tell her so, but he will also show it by his actions.
The Husband Should Work to Provide for the Physical Needs of the Family. Many men leave their wives and children without the necessities of life because they quit their jobs for frivolous reasons or waste their income selfishly. Genesis 3:17-19 The man was required to labor despite hardships in order to have food. (2 Thess. 3:10-12 & 1 Timothy 5:8)
As the head of the family a man should provide, not just for himself, but for his whole household. The Bible gives many examples of men having occupations or businesses outside the home. Many Bible examples show men employed away from the home in such occupations as shepherd, carpenter, physician, fisherman, merchant, farmer, sailor, preacher, tentmaker, etc. Eph. 5:28,29 This is the God-given duty of the husband. No passage instructs the wife to do this.
Man should not neglect his other responsibilities by over-emphasizing work. Yet one, who neglects working, expecting his wife or other people to provide income for his family, is worse than an infidel. The Husband Should Be the Head of the Family. Some claim that man should not exercise authority over his wife or that his authority should be limited to just certain areas. In practice, women are often the leaders in making family decisions.
Ephesians 5:22-24 The husband is head of his wife as Christ is head of the church (see other verses below). Neither his wife nor their parents are the authority in his family. Gen. 2:24
Love will lead a husband to consider the needs and desires of the wife and children. He will make decisions for the good of the whole group, not just to please himself.
This requires discussion at times to understand the views of others. However, the husband does have the final authority, and will give account to God for his decisions. Often this responsibility is not a privilege but a burden. He needs the courage to stand for what he is convinced is best, even when the wife or children disagree. If the wife fails to fulfill her duties, this does not justify the husband in failing to fulfill his duties. Romans 12:17-21; Luke 6:27-35
The Wife to Her Husband
The Wife Too Should Have a Lifetime Commitment to the Marriage. Neither the man nor the woman have the right to end the marriage while their spouse is alive, except for the cause of fornication. (See same scriptures listed above.)
The Wife Should Love Her Husband. Feminists will say a woman does not need a man but can find fulfillment outside marriage. Genesis 2:18-24 Woman was created to be a companion and helper to man. Mal. 2:14; Titus 2:4 Young women should be taught to love their husbands and their children. This is something a woman can learn to do.
Again, love is a matter of choice and commitment, not primarily a romantic mood. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Also the wife too should show affection and fulfill her husband's sexual needs. The Wife Should Submit to the Headship of the Husband. We have learned that God teaches husbands to use their authority in love. Though our society may protest and rebel, He also tells wives to submit to their husbands.
Ephesians 5:22-24,33 Just as the church should submit to Christ, not rebelliously but respectfully, so the wife must abide by all her husband's decisions. The only exception would be if the husband commanded her to do something that would violate God's law Acts 5:29.
Young women should be taught to be obedient to their husbands. This does not mean woman has less ability or less value than man 1 Peter 3:7; Matt. 20:25-28; Gal. 3:28. But someone must be in charge to make decisions in the home. God has determined that this responsibility belongs to the man. Gen. 3:16; Col. 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-6; 1 Cor. 11:3.
The Wife Should Work at Home Caring for Her Family. Our society places little value on the work of homemakers. Instead it encourages women to neglect their family responsibilities to do things God never required them to do.
Titus 2:4,5; 1 Timothy 5:14 God says the work of mothers is at home. They are to manage the household, loving and caring for their family. This work is a blessing and should be valued and appreciated
Psalm 113:9 We learned that providing family income is a God-given responsibility for the husband. It is not the wife's responsibility. There may be emergency exceptions (as when the husband has died or is disabled), but generally a mother should not neglect her God-given duties nor give them to other people so she can have a career or job outside the home.
Is it not true that outside jobs and similar activities often hinder wives and mothers from fulfilling duties that God requires of them? Consider responsibilities in the family, the church, Bible study, teaching others, benevolence, hospitality, etc. Specifically, where is the authority for a family to enroll their children in day-care so the wife can make money? It follows that the husband and wife have distinct roles.
It is the crossing of these lines that brings problems in childrens growth and development. Blurring these distinctions, or to deny they exist, is disobeying God’s plan and purpose for the family. Again, the husband's failure to properly fulfill his duties does not justify the wife in failing to fulfill her duties Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Peter 3:1,2; Luke 6:27
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